The Beginning

The mover chuckled as he shoved the big purple tub into the POD for my move to Colorado.  I turned pink with embarrassment at the bold, huge label on that tub. “Stalled Writing Career”.  Yeah, becoming a single mother on an Oklahoma teachers’ paycheck and taking on 2 extra jobs along with my volunteer commitments at church had STALLED my little writing career, er, hobby.  I simply couldn’t put time into things that were not bringing in cash.  So, twenty   years ago, I boxed it all up:  the notes from writing conferences, the how to books,   the rejection letters and the few congratulatory notes with check stubs, the slim file labeled “SOLD”.

20 years ago, the tub was packed efficiently away with its offensive label “Stalled Writing Career”   Career?  A career is something you do a long time and are very successful.  Stalled Writing DREAM might have been a better label.  At some point I must have believed I could have a writing career.  Otherwise that tub full of how to books, articles filed meticulously into themes, research notes, pages and pages of writing would have disappeared long ago.  I gingerly open the purple abyss of paper and stare inside. Here I am, unpacking it as if think I can do it.  20 years later. 

Today is my self-imposed deadline to launch my blog.  I lay in bed this morning, thinking, for the umpteenth time:   Is this what I should do with my time?  Why join the hundreds  of thousands bloggers in cyberspace?  Who, besides my wonderful friends and family, who, will read me?  And do I want them too?  

As is my custom, I took my coffee and current devotional book to start the day I might launch my blog.   Many years ago in a Beth Moore study, I learned the importance of asking God to open my heart before I read His word.  Imagine that the creator of the Universe has something to say to me.  I need to pay attention. 

So, before I opened the book I asked God to speak specifically to me, and added,   “SO, I’m going to launch that blog today unless you freeze the computer, please, please, reassure me that I’m doing the right thing.”

Seriously, I open the book to read the title “The Balls in Your Court” with Isaiah 6:8.  “This ball is for you.  Who’s the person? What’s the problem and where is the deficit that you might just be suited to fill?”  (Priscilla Shirer in Awaken)  Could I get you a burning bush? 

I cannot imagine that in the world of cyberspace, there are any “deficits”.  But, I meant it when I said, Here am I, send me.  So here I am, hope you read me!

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  1. Isn’t God humorous in the way He deals with us?!? That seed that was planted more than 20 years ago is ready to do some growing. Water it!! You always have something to say that moves my heart. I can only imagine that I’m one of many! Ball is in your court kiddo!!

  2. Laura Ingalls Wilder was 65 when she started, and I would say she had a career. You probably have enough topics to keep you busy for a while. I think writers look at the world just a bit deeper. You will be great! Count me as a reader.

  3. Tonya, this was very insightful, thought provoking, and inspiring. It warmed my heart as it reminded me of the many tidbits I have stored away over the years to someday relate to others. I know a lot of people will find what you have to say encouraging as you share your heart and your life lessons. Many blessings as you attempt to relate how God has moved in your life.

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