Thinkin’ on pride today, not because I woke up wanting too. I actually would choose not to think of pride. I know some prideful/narcissistic people whose names I won’t mention but you do too. My mama would say “Pride goes before a fall” but I don’t see that happening a lot. Most narcissistic people seem pretty successful but I digress.
I don’t consider myself prideful because I am not prone to tooting my own horn publicly. In fact, I’m more likely to publicly put myself down. But deep in the recesses of my soul, I know. My pride manifests in a more private, more quiet, more deadly way.
My pride manifests in fear of failure. Fear of how people perceive me, fear of people’s judgment, fear of speaking out and being wrong.
Pride keeps me from prayer. I can’t boldly step out and pray for your need or promise to pray for you because, what if? What if what I pray doesn’t happen and what if I fast for your need and God doesn’t deliver the way we want. I don’t want to look like a fool or a lesser Christian. I can’t risk my friends, family and congregation wondering about my walk with God because he doesn’t answer my prayers. Fear of being wrong keeps me from boldly and courageously standing on the Word of God. A fear born out of pride.
Webster says Pride is a “high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in conduct, etc.
I sincerely pray I don’t “cherish” pride. However, I am afraid I display a destructive pride in my prayer and writing life. Ouch.
What are you thinking ’bout pride in your life today?